Eating Fruit in the Shower

It has come to my attention that the idea of eating fruit in the shower strikes many as a foreign concept. Let me propose a simple deductive argument for the glory of eating fruit in the shower:

Eating fruit is nice.
Taking a shower is nice.
Eating in the shower is sometimes nice.
Eating fruit in the shower is always nice.
Therefore eat fruit in the shower.

Now that I’ve convinced you that eating fruit in the shower is a wonderful idea, I’ll proceed to list benefits of eating fruit in the shower:

1. While we must be sure to rinse fruit off before enjoying it, the shower eliminates the need for an extra step and wasting of water in the process. The average, non-shower fruit eater will first rinse fruit in the sink, next eat the fruit and finally wash her hands in order to rid them of the stickiness of fruit. The atypical (but gaining in popularity), shower fruit eater washes the fruit as it’s being eaten with no more water than is originally required for taking a shower.
2. Eating fruit outside the shower hampers the deliciousness of the fruit by creating a sense of paranoia about the eater so that she feels held back by the prospect of fruit juice spurting and running down her front. Eating fruit in the shower eliminates this unnecessary and unhealthy sense of paranoia by providing an environment in which the fruit eater is free to chomp away, knowing that any estranged juice will quickly be whisked away by the torrent of water from the shower. The fruit eater is thereby freed up to enjoy the fruit vigorously.
3. Many body washes are fruit-themed anyways.

You now know both the argument for and the benefits of eating fruit in the shower. Allow me to recommend some fruits that go well in the shower:

• Plum
• Peach
• Nectarine
• Apricot
• Pluot (tasty hybrid of plum and apricot; check your local fruit stand)
• Cherries
• Watermelon

I would be interested to hear if anyone has attempted a banana, apple or orange in the shower. I can only recommend drupes (fruit with a pit, or as the British say, stone) from experience. Happy eating fruit in the shower!