Mausts On Toast

Our resort was on a golf course above Cheat Lake, and I mean literally “on a golf course”. I think our kitchen sink was probably the 16th hole. Golf balls were flying everywhere. I noticed a golf ball sized hole in the headlight of the bus (practically an RV) that Duane and Chris had very generously lent us. I lived in fear for a few days (Duane looks like a tough guy) until Drew pointed out it was damaged previously. All these resorts have a welcome meeting for new visitors. As there’s usually free drinks and snacks they are usually crowded. Not so at Cheat Lake. The room was empty, only a solitary waiter coming and going. There were drinks and nibbles - all for us. A family of five came in. Two old ladies entered and sat next to Drew. The place was beginning to burst at the seams.

“Where are you from, young man?” Was she talking to me or Drew?

“Morgantown”. Drew, of course.

“This is my wife, Emily”.

“You’re too young to have a wife!” She looked disappointed or was she about to have a seizure?

Drew stood up and got a Coke. She turned to me. I was about to say, “this is my wife, Georgina”, but she got in first.

“We’re from Maryland”. Her companion looked so frail she must have needed oxygen to complete the journey.

An attractive, young lady had made her way to the middle of the room.

“Welcome to Cheat Lake”.

They always make you listen to their presentations before they let you at the food.

“We hope you enjoy your stay”.

Phew, short and sweet. “Let me introduce you to our entertainment manager.”

A twelve year old child was standing next to her. “Wow, what a cool week we’re going to have. Tuesday bingo, wednesday exercises in the pool, thursday a pilates video, if the tv is mended by then.”

We were over the moon with excitement and anticipation.

At last, the food and drinks.

“Are you sure you’re married, young man?” The old lady was sipping a glass of white wine.

“Yes, ma’am, I sure am.”

Drew felt the need to try a Mountain Dew. I felt the need to try another sausage wrapped in bacon.

So they want to blow up our plane mid-atlantic, eh? The news screamed at us a week before we were due to leave. The security would be tight, we’d be alright. No liquids on the plane and a small amount of hand luggage. Emily phoned. “Were we still coming?” “Of course we were”.

Gatwick was busy, very busy. We queued for this, we queued for that. The man in front had a bottle of clear liquid in his pocket. The swift hand of a security guard whipped it out like a pistol. “No liquids on the plane, Sir” Even the “Sir” sounded menacing. The man looked middle-eastern. “Go on, blow up his bag. It’s probably a bomb”.

“Take you shoes off”. A huge black lady hollared at me. Her shirt uniform was 2 sizes too small and she was sweating profusely. I had reached the security arch. “No, don’t carry them through the arch. Put them through the x-ray machine”. She was annoyed. She thought me an idiot. I felt like one, especially with no shoes on.

Another guard was rifling through my hand luggage. He, too was large, and he looked hungry. He pulled out my packet of mints with a smile. “I shall have to keep these”. I thought e might. Too bad if I develop halitosis on this flight.

We scanned the other passengers for potential terrorists. He has children. Another has a wife and maybe mother-in-law. Could you blow up your mother-in-law? Naa. Lucky number Slevin and the X-Men substituted fantasy terror for real-life terror. RV was just so funny.

Wait a minute. That young man, definitely Asian, sprouting a beard, looks shifty. No, that’s the pilot. Maybe an inside job? Nobody would intentionally blow themselves up. That would be insane… Detroit looks so pretty from the air. I bet it’s a really handsome city on the ground. What a relief when the plane touches down. Will it stop?

Plane to Pittsburgh. Everything is suddenly calm & relaxed. No thought of terrorism. The flight will be pleasant. After all, no planes are brought down by terrorists in peaceful Pennsylvania.

It’s dark by the time we get to Pittsburgh. We walk around the airport 3 times to find our bags. It’s alright The luggage claim by the back door. We could have walked in off the street and got them. It’s great in America. Everyone must be so honest and law-abiding. We like it here. No surprises.

Two thugs jump us from behind. My hand instinctively turns into a lethal, karate-chopping weapon. No need, it’s Emily and Drew. Hugs and kisses all round with abandon.

Then some more. I restrain myself from hugging a passsing cop. He might not like it. We’ve arrived. We’re in America!!!

We are Drew and Emily Maust.

We currently live in Wake Forest, North Carolina, where we moved after Drew's graduation from West Virginia University in Morgantown, West Virginia, in December 2006. Drew is currently attending Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary and Emily is immersed in school at Watt's School of Nursing to train to become a Registered Nurse (RN).

Our history as a couple, even though we've only been married since June 2005, is speckled with exciting stories and drama. Emily is originally from Theydon Bois, England (a little village as you head east out of London on the Central Line). We've had the wonderful experience of being stressed out by immigration. Drew grew up for the most part in Beckley, West Virginia, and recently graduated from West Virginia University with a degree in Spanish and Linguistics. Yippee!

That's the basic overview of us. The pages in the menu on the right relate to how Emily and I met, and our journeys along the way. We hope to be expanding this section with more about us, as "us" is what MaustsOnToast is about. But until we get more about us pages up, you might also glance through the many pages of our blog on the main page of MOT and also get lost in our photo gallery of more than 5000 pictures of our gallivanting all around the globe.

Well, well, for anyone wondering, we have made it back safely from New York City and are back in Morgantown in our normal routines. We had a fabulous time in NYC, wearing ourselves out through running around that crazy city. Everyone said that it’s impossible to see all the sites in one day. Well, we’ve proved them wrong! However, the thing is: you don’t want to do all the sites in one day because you will be dog tired the next (as we were). So, go on, check out our many pictures from the trip in our photo gallery.

You may have also noticed MaustsOnToast has been rearranged. That was because the old system that was running the site turned out to be full of bugs and a major pain in my hind quarters. So, we’ve switched to a glorious new system called Drupal which should keep us happy for years to come.

Everyone that registered for an account on our old site will need to re-register on this one (if you want to that is). One main reason that I switched systems is you may have noticed that it wasn’t letting non-logged-in people post comments or read our posts. And those are the main functions of our site besides our photo gallery. So, something had to be done. This new system seems a lot more stable than the previous so we shouldn’t run into those same problems.

While registering on this new site is by no means required, registering will allow you to make posts on MaustsOnToast if you so desire. Anyone wanting to post (e.g. Sir Nigel D) should register and post away.

We love you!

-drew

P.S. The reason this post is called Ignite is because this weekend I am going to a college retreat for universites across West Virginia called…you guessed it…Ignite. Should be groovy.

This weekend (Sep 29 - Oct 1), we’re setting out for the Big Apple. Pourquoi? Parce que I’ve never been and I think it’s a crying shame that Emily’s been and I haven’t. So we’re going! Statue of Liberty, China Town, Brooklyn Bridge, Guggenheim, Empire State Building, Central Park, Times Square, the ghetto here we come! It’s roughly a 7 hour drive Lord willin’. We’ll leave tomorrow (Friday, September 29th) after we get around to it (aiming for 2ish) which should put us there just in time to see the skyline glow across the horizon. I also hear NYC’s got the best pizza in the world; we’ll have to see about that…

With what greater joy could I write to you than to tell you about three amazing freebies to be had here and right now? Hehe.

Check out these freebies:

• PICTURES: Yeh, that’s right, pictures. Sir Nigel D and myself have posted our pictures from the Hayes’ Holiday here in and around Morgantown. Browse on over to the Photo Gallery and check out the first album entitled Hayes Holiday.

• MUSIC: Yeh, that’s right, music. The amazingly-talented, unique Christian artist Derek Webb has opted to give away his new album for absolute freeness. Point your web broswer to FreeDerekWebb.com and soon you’ll be downloading his album Mockingbird

  Hayes’s Holiday

  30 Aug 2006 Author: drew In: Uncategorized

  For the past week and a half, Emily and I have had the pleasure of
  showing Sir Nigel D, Momma G, Sally O, and Hannah P around the big city
  of Morgantown. We've been to the Core Aboretum, Ohiopyle, Cooper's
  Rock, the Flight 93 Memorial just outside of Somerset, PA, Cheat Lake,
  Chestnut Ridge Community Church, Los Mariachis, Golden Corral,
  Evergreen Chinese Buffet, Mountain Creek Cabins, 818 Timberline, Mt.
  Davis, PA, and had countless picnics! They'll be parting us this
  Saturday, September 2nd, to traverse the big blue and arrive safely
  back home again. We've taken a ginormitude of pictures, they'll be
  posted real soon.

  So long for now, friends. =)

  • 0 Comments

  Hayes’s On Holiday

  30 Aug 2006 Author: drew In: Hayes Family

  For the past week and a half, Emily and I have had the pleasure of showing Sir Nigel D, Momma G, Sally O, and Hannah P around the big city of Morgantown. We’ve been to the Core Aboretum, Ohiopyle, Cooper’s Rock, the Flight 93 Memorial just outside of Somerset, PA, Cheat Lake, Chestnut Ridge Community Church, Los Mariachis, Golden Corral, Evergreen Chinese Buffet, Mountain Creek Cabins, 818 Timberline, Mt. Davis, PA, and had countless picnics! They’ll be parting us this Saturday, September 2nd, to traverse the big blue and arrive safely back home again. We’ve taken a ginormitude of pictures, they’ll be posted real soon.

  So long for now, friends. =)

  • 0 Comments
  • Tags: vacation

  Two Become One

  16 Aug 2006 Author: drew In: Drew and Emily, Hayes Family, Pictures

  Two Become One: Rhea & Chris 2006

  Chris Hickok (the best man from our wedding and dear friend) took his turn at the marriage thing this past weekend in Huntington, West Virginia. With 200 guests in attendance, Emily and I dressed up in our smartest attire and had a gay time with the jocund company. If you didn’t happen to be in Huntington that weekend of the 12th of August, we’ve got enough pictures of the event in our photo gallery to choke a Shetland Pony. Mosey on over and check ‘em out!

  Just as exciting, as this week comes to its end, the arrival of Hayes’ draws nighest (watch the count down on the right for lift off!). Yippee! See y’all soon!

  • 0 Comments
  • Tags: Chris & Rhea, Friends, wedding

  The Domesday Book

  6 Aug 2006 Author: drew In: Random

  This news headline on the front page of the Wikipedia caught my attention: “An English translation of the Domesday Book, the 920-year-old census record of England under William the Conqueror, is presented online.”

  As far as I’m concerned, any book from the 11th century anno domini that makes it online in a digital format is worthy of giving a
  once-over. So, I followed the link to this baby and found some very interesting and comical names contained within William’s census. In the section titled Essex Holders of Land, a subsection of the Little Domesday Book, some fantastic names of persons appear. The list starts out with the King himself, William King of the English. That’s simple and straightforward enough. Skipping second, listed third is the Bishop of London. Again, nothing really comical here, but this is when things start to get exciting. Following the Bishop is a guy that goes by the name of The Fief of the Same Bishop. I assume he was under the fiefdom of the Bishop and his name’s of no real import. Poor guy. Further down the list we find my personal favorites among the landholders:

  • Walter the Cook
  • Goscelin the Lorimer (I had to look up what a lorimer is…he makes saddles)
  • Reginald the Crossbowman (I reckon you need to be able to work magic with that crossbow before they start calling you the crossbowman)
  • Gilbert the Priest
  • Grim
  • Wulfgifu (almost sounds like an expletive his mother would have screamed upon having him placed in her lap…Wulfgifu!)
  • Godwine (filled with the Spirit?)

  An finally, we come to the most glorious of names amongst the Holders of Land in Essex:

  Roger God-save-the-ladies

  Haha! I’m not sure whether to think he was a womanizer and people
  had to pray that God would save the ladies every time Roger came
  around, or if he was a misogynist serial killer!

  Oh to have lived in those days!

  Check out these links for more on the Domesday Book:
  

  • http://www.nationalarchives.gov.uk/domesday/
  • http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Domesday_Book

  • 0 Comments
  • Tags: books, England
  Pages (18): « First ... « 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 »