MaustsOnToast » joke

Peak in Our Apartment

Drew — Sun, 14 Aug 2011 23:16:20 +0000

A lot of folks have been asking what our housing will be like in Cameroon. “Will you live in a house or a hut?” The short answer is “it depends.” But, fortunately for us, the on-campus housing where we are now offers what’s known as “pre-field preparation apartments” (PPA’s), accommodation that is designed to smooth the transition to life on the mission field. So, wanting to be prepared for every eventuality abroad we opted for one of these PPA’s. We got plenty of room for you to come stay with us!

You know we’re kidding, right? =)

Out of Sight

Drew — Tue, 12 Apr 2011 01:47:25 +0000

Poppy’s new swing is out of sight.

But I Go by Fuku

Drew — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

Tonight, moments ago, Emily and I slipped past Food Lion to pick up some baking supplies. (I found this recipe for oatmeal cookies that she claims "taste English." I had to grab some supplies to make another batch to give her that taste of home in her new home.) On the way out of the store an African-American young lady was peering out the front window talking on her cellphone. The brief phrase we heard her say proves my maxim that certain stringing of words together you never expect to hear, ever. She said,

"My real name's Laticia, but I go by Fuku."

Some phrases/words you just never expect to hear. Yay, never are you even able to come close to anticipating. Fuku, if you're out there, girl, on the worldwide interweb, I want to thank you for changing my life with that one utterance. Wow.

My next question is, if you were Laticia, would you want to go by your real name, or Fuku (pronounced foo-koo)?

Can Cold Water Clean Dishes?

Drew — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

This is thanks to Simon who swears that this is not a good representation of West Virginians:

John went to visit his 90-year-old grandfather in a very secluded, rural area of West Virginia. After spending a great evening chatting the night away, John’s grandfather prepared breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast.

However, John noticed a film like substance on his plate, and questioned his grandfather asking, “Are these plates clean?”

His grandfather replied, “They’re as clean as cold water can get em. Just you go ahead and finish your meal, Sonny!”

For lunch the old man made hamburgers. Again, John was concerned about the plates as his appeared to have tiny specks around the edge that looked like dried egg and asked, “Are you sure these plates are clean?”

Without looking up the old man said, “I told you before, Sonny, those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them. Now don’t you fret, I don’t want to hear another word about it!”

Later that afternoon, John was on his way to a nearby town and as he was leaving, his grandfather’s dog started to growl, and wouldn’t let him pass.

John yelled and said, “Grandfather, your dog won’t let me get to my car”.

Without diverting his attention from the football game he was watching on TV, the old man shouted, “COLDWATER, GO LAY DOWN NOW, YAH HERE ME!!!”

Spot the Human Head

Drew — Sat, 25 Aug 2007 19:24:59 +0000

We're a little desperate for quality posts here at MOT, so we thought we'd invite our readers to play a little game of spot the human head. Enjoy!

Being British

Drew — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

One of the British national daily newspapers is asking readers “what it means to be British?” Some of the emails are hilarious but this is one from a chap in Switzerland…

“Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV. And the most British thing of all? Suspicion of anything foreign…”

The Word Always Pronounced Incorrectly

Drew — Wed, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

There is one word in the English language that is always pronounced incorrectly. What is it?

See the first comment for the answer.