MaustsOnToast » Peacock

Drew Wants a Peahen

Drew — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 21:43:21 +0000

All Emily’s talk and gyration about peacocks makes me feel a bit threatened. She has chosen to set her sights not on a sexually ambiguous, general peafowl, but on a peacock, the male of the variety, the one with the fantastically fanning feathers. How deeply dare I read into her recent daydreamings of possessing a male whose feathery splendor far outweighs mine? In fact, my feathers are non-existent. Should I then be ascared?

“Oh, that white one looks like Christmas.”

Do I look like Christmas, I wonder to myself. Maybe I should go albino and sport snowlike dandruff.

Maybe to combat this gross wanting of peacock, I should set my sights on a peahen to replace my peanut. From the same site on which Emily found peacocks listed for $120, I spotted a peahen for a mere $20. Not only is that considerably cheaper than the male version, but markedly cheaper than a peanut living in your house who finds a consistent attraction to Target an itch worthy of repeated and regular scratching.

A peahen is obviously the better option!

Emily gets her peacock!!

Emily — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 01:38:36 +0000

So I say to Drew tonight awhile after our previous conversation,

“Hey Drew I want a baby”

He says

“I’ll get you a peacock”

Emily Wants a Pet Peacock

Drew — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 23:45:53 +0000

When Emily says, “Drew, I need to talk with you,” I stop what I’m doing and listen. Today was no different except for the totally random subject of which she wanted to speak.

“Drew, I want a pet.”

“OK…”

“I want a peacock.”

“OK…”

A sage woman once said that if a young couple can afford to have a pet, they should just start having children. I’m not saying we don’t want children (because we do!), but I am saying I don’t want a peacock. One bird around the house getting her feathers ruffled is enough.