(HT: Woot)

1. Convene a panel of bishops to determine the correct canonical position on the question of who makes Philly’s best cheesesteak
2. Go to Eastern Orthodox cathedral, ring the doorbell, run away giggling
3. Visit the UN to request that the Papal See be upgraded to a Papal B Minus
4. Trade outfits with a pauper that, for some reason, looks exactly like him
5. Three words: Pontiffs Gone Wild
6. Lay down some tracks for the new 2pac tribute album
7. Hit Nobu 57 with Chloe Sevigny and Jason Schwartzman
8. Try first deep-fried Twinkie
9. Console a young nun named Sarah Marshall, who had spent her life working for peace and never before felt such raw hatred from all directions
10. Find out what’s so funny about his hat, anyway