While in college, one evening as I came out of the main library on the downtown campus I was met by all the smoking loiterers hanging about with nothing real important going on. I felt impressed to share the gospel with these standing around outside. What a crazy idea though. Just what I wanted to do was stand up on the little concrete wall over everyone and begin loudly, publicly sharing the good news of forgiveness of sins that comes through Jesus Christ with nicotine-addicted, lolly-gagging twenty somethings and look just like the street preacher that frequented the free-speech area on a monthly basis with signs, shouts, and indistinct Scripture quotation. That’s who I would look like to them, and that didn’t sound to appealing to me. That moment when I pussyfooted out of the scene, going against my conscious, is one past event in my life that I would change.

What would I have done differently? I would have been a fool for Christ, sharing the gospel with those outside the library. It wouldn’t have had to have been open-air preaching style, but obeying the impression of the Holy Spirit. We can always worry about what others might think. Worrying about what people think is a good thing; but worrying more about public opinion than God’s opinion is dangerous and leads to disobedience. Even as I prepare to post this blog entry now, I worry about what those readers (if any!) will think of my talking openly about the Christian’s inner struggle of sin and wanting to obey God that’s exemplified in the story above. However, of what in this post need I be ashamed? Could not some speak of a one night stand or drunkenness as a regret, an event they wish they could go back and change? All the same, we both would wish to change an event that involved sin. Remorse over sin is a step in the right direction; of that I will not be ashamed.

I left the library and went back to my apartment. I was eaten up inside with my disobedience. I then resolved in my heart that I would return to the library and scope out the situation with the intent of sharing the good news of what God has done through Jesus Christ on our behalf for his glory. I walked back to the library. I was the only one around; but at least I had come around to being obedient. It’s better to be obedient the first time around. Thank the Lord for a second chance!

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