Our resort was on a golf course above Cheat Lake, and I mean literally “on a golf course”. I think our kitchen sink was probably the 16th hole. Golf balls were flying everywhere. I noticed a golf ball sized hole in the headlight of the bus (practically an RV) that Duane and Chris had very generously lent us. I lived in fear for a few days (Duane looks like a tough guy) until Drew pointed out it was damaged previously. All these resorts have a welcome meeting for new visitors. As there’s usually free drinks and snacks they are usually crowded. Not so at Cheat Lake. The room was empty, only a solitary waiter coming and going. There were drinks and nibbles – all for us. A family of five came in. Two old ladies entered and sat next to Drew. The place was beginning to burst at the seams.

“Where are you from, young man?” Was she talking to me or Drew?

“Morgantown”. Drew, of course.

“This is my wife, Emily”.

“You’re too young to have a wife!” She looked disappointed or was she about to have a seizure?

Drew stood up and got a Coke. She turned to me. I was about to say, “this is my wife, Georgina”, but she got in first.

“We’re from Maryland”. Her companion looked so frail she must have needed oxygen to complete the journey.

An attractive, young lady had made her way to the middle of the room.

“Welcome to Cheat Lake”.

They always make you listen to their presentations before they let you at the food.

“We hope you enjoy your stay”.

Phew, short and sweet. “Let me introduce you to our entertainment manager.”

A twelve year old child was standing next to her. “Wow, what a cool week we’re going to have. Tuesday bingo, wednesday exercises in the pool, thursday a pilates video, if the tv is mended by then.”

We were over the moon with excitement and anticipation.

At last, the food and drinks.

“Are you sure you’re married, young man?” The old lady was sipping a glass of white wine.

“Yes, ma’am, I sure am.”

Drew felt the need to try a Mountain Dew. I felt the need to try another sausage wrapped in bacon.